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1/12/2005 

I just woke up from two years of having my life on autopilot. And everything seems to be in hyper-reality nowadays and it does become scary at times. What frightens me the most though is the realization that I no longer trust in whatever happiness I experienced in the past two years since I essentially was running numb and guarded.

So here's how it is to be finally awake: food tastes better, music now hits like a runaway truck, and my family and friends have become extra special to me. On the other side of things, the absence of mama has become increasingly palpable and painfull.


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